(Original Post - December 2020)
Every so often, I experience a moment that reminds me why I originally started writing these posts so many years ago. I like these moments. They do not necessarily fall into the category of great life events, like the birth of a child, the forming of an important relationship (marriage or otherwise), a new job, retirement, or the publication of a book, but they are nonetheless very meaningful, and when these seemingly small events happen, the depth of the ideas sometimes takes a little while to fully sink in. But when they sink in and take root, they invariably impact how I see the world.
I was thinking about the title of this blog earlier today. Short Thoughts, Big Ideas. The “short thoughts” was meant to reflect a couple of things; the thoughts that I would write would (hopefully) be short and concise, to the point, and would come from kids, the “short” people in my life. The Big Ideas are derivations of these short thoughts. The Big Ideas are those of children, not myself, because while we strive to teach children as much as we can - as effectively as we can - they often end up teaching us much, much more. Just recently, I was very clearly reminded of this fact.
A simple paradigm shift is all it takes to change the course of your life forever. - Jeff Spires.
I mean really, who doesn't love a good paradigm shift once in a while. It’s somewhat akin to discovering an incredible new red wine, or an amazing song by an artist you’ve never heard of. I first read and learned about paradigm shifts from reading Stephen Covey many years ago as he wrote about these ‘fundamental changes in the way we think and the assumptions we hold’. I re-read his work from time to time, whenever I feel I need a reminder on some of these ideas. A couple of weeks ago, however, I received a great little reminder from a student at my school.
Actually, let’s go back a little further. In the spring, I was contacted by the wonderful people of the Get Real Movement. For those who’ve not heard of them, they are a non-profit organization who strive to support 2SLGBTQ+ youth, educate on anti-racism, homophobia and transphobia, and create safe spaces for youth to express themselves freely. They’ve presented in just about every province, as well as some of the states, and have reached over 150,000 students. Their message is poignant, as it comes from young people who have lived through experiences related to the topics they discuss. Their visit was postponed due to the shutting of schools in March, but in November they came into our classrooms virtually, and worked to help shift some of our less inclusive ways of thinking. The talks were incredible. They were personal, and real. The speakers addressed all of the grade 5 and 6 students in our school, and I truly believed that they reached them with their words. When you are at the back of a classroom and you hear a young girl whisper “Wow…” to herself as she listens to someone talk about how they’ve been judged, it suggests that the message is getting through on a deep level.
Fast forward a week. I’m facilitating a meeting of the Student Leaders at my school - ten kids who were nominated and elected to represent their fellow students. After the meeting, I’m back in my office when a student comes by. She comes in and says, “Miss sent me down. Someone in your meeting left this ring in her room.” The young girl passes me the ring with a smile, and skips on her way. I look at the ring. It’s a nice one. No doubt, the owner will be upset to realize they’ve lost it, so I set out to return the little treasure. I decided to go to one of the Grade Six classes. One of the leaders from that room is a girl, and I’m in a bit of a hurry, so I head there first to... I stop. Funny, I think. Just days after I’ve been so impressed by the lessons of the Get Real staff, I find I’m still at times in possession of a mindset that categorizes, stereotypes and labels. I’ll be honest, I was a little disappointed in myself. To remedy this, I change the direction I’ve been headed. I go to another classroom, the one that has two male Student Leaders. The ring likely doesn’t belong to either of them, but when a teachable moment like this arises, you reach out and grab it.
I go into the classroom. I talk about how one of the Student Leaders left this very nice ring in the classroom after our meeting. And then, I tell them about how I jumped to a stereotyped conclusion. I tell them that I instantly assumed that the ring must belong to a girl, and had set out to find her, because in that moment, my mind was far from open and inclusive. I then asked the boys if they owned the ring. Neither did, but we had a great discussion about how easily I had fallen into that traditional thinking trap. I gave them a wave and left, heading back to my original destination and feeling pretty good about myself and the lesson I’d shared with the group.
I didn’t reach my destination.
“Mr Lynch, did you see my ring? I left it in the classroom.” One of the Leaders is rushing up the hall towards me, a little out of breath.
I looked down at the ring in my hand, then held it up. “This one?”
The look of relief on the kid’s face was amazing. I reached out and put the ring in his hand.
In his hand.
There was silence in that moment. He was quiet as he carefully put the ring back on his finger. I was quiet as I realized that, for the second time that afternoon, I had received a proverbial poke in the forehead; a good, solid one. I’d made a quick assumption, but then tried to make up for it by hurrying down the hall to turn it into a lesson, satisfied with myself throughout the entire event. But, it’s time to be honest. Time to be Real, as it were. I had left that classroom and headed to the other one still certain that the ring belonged to the girl up the hall. I smiled at the student and asked him to pop in and sit with me for a little chat. I explained to him the same thing I’d explained to the first group of students I’d visited. Except this time, it was genuine. Truly genuine. After we’d talked, I asked him if he’d like to come with me as I visited that first classroom again. He was more than happy to do so. It was time for the real lesson… I went back to the grade six room. My friend waited outside. The kids, of course, were more than happy to welcome me back in, as it seems that every time I visit, I’m interrupting a math class on formulas and equations. Interesting, as I look back on it now; Equation - the process of equating one thing to another. There’s more than a short thought that could be given to that definition right there. But I digress. I chatted with them for a minute, and then told them I was happy to say that I found the owner of the ring. I invited the student to come in. He stepped in through the door.
I don’t have the ability to portray in words the feeling of that moment. I gave the student the floor, and he shared the story of his ring. He’d only received it a short time ago, in the last few days, from a very good friend. He told us he was nervous about wearing it to school, because he didn’t know how people would react, or what they would say, or if he would be made fun of for wearing it. But in the end, that didn’t matter. He shrugged his shoulders. “I decided to wear it anyway...” he said.
“‘Cause it’s cool. And I like it.”
Full stop.
“If you want small changes, work on your behavior. If you want quantum leap changes, work on your paradigms.” - Steven Covey
Paradigm shift. It has a bit of a ring to it...
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